My illnesses is exposed and its spreading. It's becoming known to more and more people. There may be hundreds other people expriencing what 'm going through (and they get over with it). But even so, I bet we're still different in some ways and I doubt that these people can truly comprehend, me.

Funny that some of my friends didn't even believe me when I confessed myself in.. though it was somehow expectable. People think that 'm just beginning to be insane. But matter fact, 've been so for about 2 1/2 years now. Which means that you wouldn't be able to find a post, to see how much a happy girl I really was, in the archives -I was so many many times happier than the happiest moment 've post in this blog. Yes, really.

I never failed putting up the great front to cover myself up. 'm so good at this, that nobody knew/suspected so in the past years. But recently, I find myself facing with so many new emotions and problems. Everything 's a little bit tougher, a little too hard to handle and also, much more unpredictable. It's not easy to pretend that 'm strong like how I used to be anymore..

If you're saying that I am still in this cycle because I didn't even try to help myself out in the first place, you 're wrong. Because I actually did, since a long long time ago, but I was a failure.

've been fighting with giving up and holding out on a thin thread every night..
Who knew?