They say it comes as a two way thing.
But even if 've taken the initiative, would you notice it?
Alone, no good. I want friends.
But somehow, I feel left out.
I think I now have something to look forward to. I am beginning to love and appreciate my friends and family and the things around me. I now don't curse the morning that much because I can smell the scent of dawn. And in sleepless nights, instead of doing nothing, 'd now go enjoy looking at the city lights. I like hopping on the web to learn about what other's are kicking on and try the new stuffs out myself. I like to view the amazing works of the other human kinds I never knew. And 'd like to get to know new people again. I can't wait to go on a holiday. I can't wait to get my driving license and go on a cross country drive through holiday. I can't wait to enter clubs/pubs, buy alcohol and fags with my own ID.
I can't wait to see how I will grow and where I will be standing in the working society. I mean, I know it might not be good anyhow if I continue skipping schools and such. But still, 'd like to know, 'd like to know what someone that was once so idle and dally and hopeless can become.
Out of all the miseries, there is always a reason to live.
My smiler is temporary out of order.
Why do people prefer choosing to be a pessimist than an optimist?
Like when we can consider ourselves lucky that we found ourselves a shelter during a downpour, people usually prefer to curse the rain. When we can consider ourselves lucky that we have food to eat, people prefer to curse how badly it's cooked.
Like in the picture above (shot in one of my counseling room), we can see the toys on the table and the bright colored cushion case. But why do some of us see how slant and dark it is? Why do some of us see the CCTV first other than all the other objects?
I understand that there are many many many things that we can never change.
Somebody once told me that we can change the way we look at them.
Question is, what if no matter how we look at these things that seems bad, is still as bad?
I love holidays and I bet you do too.
If it happens to be a Public holiday like it is today half a year ago, 'd be unpacking my gets from shopping, gazing stars on the open field, taking spins round the puny island, dancing in a club or boozing my boobs off.
And if it happens so that tomorrow's an exam date, my head 'd be buried under thick assessment books and practice papers and 'll be chanting formulas instead of blogging at this second.
But today, I did just nothing. Nothing at all, for the entire day in my 18degrees room on my bed with four pillows, closed curtains and soothing jazz background music trying to think nothing.
And I think I love it.