Comparing to big half of the people I know, I am more assured that, I am so super low profiled.
No, it's not a bad thing. Because being low profiled allows me to do shits without the eyes constantly watching
-If I am doing it right or wrong, legal or illegal, cool or uncool-
goes on
even when
everything
went wrong.
No, it don't help.
I need a holiday, to faraway. I need to escape and stop thinking about all the shits I am thinking now (a days). Or maybe a holiday might not even help to chase away the shits. I hate it when I have to turn to extremely nice people and vent my fucks at them, making them feeling fucked up as well. I hate. So hate. So I will never look for anyone to talk to anymore. I will keep them all to myself. Even if it means that I have to cry and cry and cry and scream and scream, I will. I really don't want to complicate and add on to other's burdens anymore. It's so not fair. Anyway, it've always only been myself anyway. I tried my best to stay focus, be who I wanna be, change who 've been and concentrate on what's only important. But, I can't. I failed fucking again. I've gone through this millions of times and I am still back here feeling I used to 've felt. I fucked myself and my life up like fuck. Fuck.
Regret, maybe a little. Who never regretted on anything before anyway? But since 've turned this bend, and decided on this route, 'mma walk my best distance.. till there's another way out.
For a moment, it felt like everyone else in this world 've died.
I feel like 'm growing old, very very old.. And I don't have anymuch time left. I don't have too many things in my to-do list though.. Since 've being cancling them every now and then because I figured out that 'll either find them interesting anymore or because I don't think I can never do that/get there.
You're right, I most probably 'd be happier like this - without high expectations; so 'd have nobody to fail me, so 'd not fall.
Sick slow love songs, dramas, poems and photographs.
Why is it that everytime when 've gathered all my courage and strength, and finally decided to put everything back into shape once and for all, to love with all my heart and willing to ammend my sinful past, 'd end up failing again, and again and again?
Would you help make my Mornings worth getting up for?
"For every good thing you exprienced,
it will come in turn with something (else) bad. "
Fuck.
smiles & confidence
I used to
have.
"So how's it going on, PartyGirl? Time to move on and get a life!"